Tuesday, December 31, 2013


there is a game on a plane, many don't know they are being played.battle winner loser/ are one and the same. some break out of their chains, bend the rules to make their own game. ancestors are me in nature. 13 everywhere. my star, my ship,.y voyage, my map, my cargo, my compass, my crew. observe it, the chaos, th motion, it will always be other than it appears, inner control makes the master. the point. the knight. comet ison fragments

Thursday, December 26, 2013

the birth of my christ

i know my chart, sirius B, i know my rose and cross, sword and shield, tuesday, martes named for Mars, we drove to matt's. michelle's mom and stepdad came from florida and rosemary and bobby came for dinner it was so interesting how mixed and matched and blended we were that took us all to that point in time.
 then we drove to tim and sylvia's for the night. then we celebrated christmas morning and the guys made us pancakes and eggs for breakfast. we got to tall trees pretty early and had such fun. it was the greatest time. ernie took us on a chalet tour. all 3 of nina's boys came. when we got back home jamie and vivian gave us a jar of sourwood honey
saturday night john had a party . we spent the night, it poured down rain all night, as above so below.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

time traps light

year of the horse. healing headaches. 2014 = 7 my shadow always gives me away. as above so below the second brightest,the slower you go the more flexible you can be.. seek knowledge. gain wisdom. make the load light. unity of opposites. eaten by the sun. out of sag into cap, the opposite of cancer, marcia took us out to the drippalator, alex is going to stay in MD. venus retrograde. ruled by taurus. the moon exalted.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

finish what you started

i am canopis. the keel on the side of argo. i follow sirius. anti-imperialist league, banned books, outsider misfit outcast drifter, in the fall of 99
journalism rainbow tribe drum circle bonfire street fairs, close the gap, string theory,
this thanksgiving we went to sc and then rosemary's. matt's new fam is cool. then nadia spemt the night with ithilia. today is marc's birthday, . he is taking grandpa shopping.i got up super early.  .A new moon seed grounding rooting staying in the Sagitarius sun, with potential to grow until after nadia's 10th is going to be at tall trees. hopefully maggie will come.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

the day the rower stopped rowing

chiron rows the boat, but now it's overloaded.  time to heal. i hear the train of thought coming and going again and again, the journey continues  within at the world's edge follow the singing sun ,
meet another 20 cusp, it was ihsan's birthday and i deleted him. the scorpion eclipse, and comet ison did the same. while studying yoga and meeting the snake  bob died, the other bob almost died and fired me, i was there for some other reason, but my passion was not.  i finally hung out with leslie and she's cool as hell.bittersweet

Saturday, November 16, 2013

full moon taurus

my secret Sunseed, my blooming blood rose, pouring out libations of sweet honey feeds me. i know if i give that i can not lose. no one is meant to hold on to wounds.every offering is a thought, door, is a world. spiral up and spiral out. show your true face and truth will look back at you

Sunday, November 3, 2013

scorpio new moon solar eclipse

silence is the holy science, body mind soul, earth water wind fire feel the thought, speak it, and build it. death and pain of the false is beauty that you see in a way you've never seen. the phoenix is alive because it set its trail ablaze.
suzi was my friend at 222 when my dad died. then again at crooked creek. The last time I saw Suzi was on main street on Halloween in 2010. we have been in black mtn 3 years now. This year Marc took us to the mcCune Center and fox run for trick or treating.
 samhein new year, dia de los muertos, the sting that teaches, portals enter and exit where you are is where the thought embodied. the great work balancing head and heart, i tried my best but got fired. i got my last paycheck and finally felt ok about it

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

mercury retrograde has come and gone

God is your thought becoming speech. hold it closely before release. Cyndi didn't like being deleted so i blocked her. .hidden in plain view. It hits Close to home. this was the last time i came to yoga class a year ago.
tehuti, djehuty, thoth, baboon, changes are internal first. move forward while looking back. the retrograde is 3 weeks and sets off a 6 month cycle.SHTF = shift jaSun says one thing at a time. hermes the messenger, ruled by gem twins. review, speak clearly. pay  day and sensitivity training. changing into a gown, a chair is still mobility, the mind body connection. in scorpio, death.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

em power

infj inverted. empath amythest comforts and empowers A mystery is a forgotten memory awaiting your recall. a thought is not a presence. i cried holy water twice today. went to mona's in between. full moon eclipse in aries, i am. self love self worth. aries is the first house, aries is the ram. aryan are first peoples. the sun in libra balancing self and relationships. i have never felt so tested.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

fall or fly

follow flow fold, building ages and stages, life goes on and on. Both in Libra, from jupiter to saturn. accept what is and your role in it. awareness and focus are different tools. i am so air (speech) and water (ride the wave)  i can balance with earth and fire. siamese dream. pisces is the psychollgist, aquarius is the scientist.both observe worlds. the full moon is a lunar eclipse. the end of the externalization of control and authority. we travel the globe as our cross. with sun and moon as inner guides

Thursday, October 3, 2013

new moon libra

harmonious relationships require the right flavors of sugar and spice. . sun earth moon electromagnetism, the old is new when roots reach. keep it moving attention. intention. beginnings, balance, one week working at mountain ridge health and rehab. laundry is earlier and easier but i mostly do house keeping. it couldn't be closer and it was the first place i applied to. got paid and hung out with mona. 29 dew waite dream details

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

black star

implode! the light code. out of nothing. you're in heaven but don't know it, A healing vision rooted like a tree. carbon forms remain yet change, generator.transformed body mind soul operator technology all in harmony elements of energy, the home and family always there for you, you there for yourself. to manifest.your wind opens the pirate starship sails, no anchor but within.  the ocean of heavenly salt clots in the drop. many wombs seeing duality without staying there. the process of seeking gold, god as you. the second sun, raising the oil, . the niche is the cave, you project a new world in ideas. destroy illusion of concepts. see the truth they point to. you are a compass to connect the dots. islands rise and sink.

Friday, September 6, 2013

new moon virgo

experience changes DNA . a virgin birth is hermaphrodite, self perpetual. pleasure without chains, the fainter calling. here i am. Mission statement, Jah sun shine behind the eye.argo is self beside the shadow. shape shift as black ocean tides.do what you can where you are with what you have and who you know. service starts with self.slow soft silence helps you speak your truth so others can. throat chakra and heart chakra. two new cool moms in the neighborhood i made friends with.my mom called to vent about dr. vines.
emily is for electromagnetically
like a hidden crystal
wanting to be seen
an old friend with a new face
be connected but not attached
the maiden mary
christ's bride
table spread with heavenly food
 the power to create
virgo rules work
becomes destructive with no vision
saturn in scorpio
hear the nature  spirits wings
the contrast season brings
all you have are  seeds
carry on, Chiron, low and hidden
ran wild  too long
century gone

Friday, August 23, 2013

day of djed

life and death are twins
pineal and pituitary
looking at each other
what we see is only what we remember
like eternal starseeds
the core through the eyegate
the return of osiris as Sah
meet me at the lote tree
of the utmost boundary and fly
home made apple pie amer-ika
apple of the eye
there is no journey
without a fall
for the red dress disguise
the house is just a door
draw and open it
create with delight

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

blue aquarius moon in leo.

 Let go of belief tune into frequency. keep it consistent. i felt the digital underground, another world is home. and i listened to dangerous again and off the wall. the angel of music, dionysus i get the force heart and mind day night fire feeling the music and how it influenced hip hop. the disk ring rope coil. spinning in the dark 2 become 1. man woman dark light changing masks back and forth.it's all about the melanin ocean flow. lapis lazuli. turtle shell is saying slow down to see and hear what is meant for you to align. stop asking.
 we are surrunded by parasites and must stand strong, dig into your earth for more details skeleton spine and care. my blackened wings leave a rainbow flying through distance space time.the pain came to  expand love and birth it..  it is 2 worlds connected in a cardinal cross. nadia came home and is happy with the new year. louise died at the gas station so we got a cab home. this time it was cheap and quick to fix. or so we thought.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

pride of lions

sun, new moon and mercury in Leo. express bright ideas. you will find and make enough if you guard your den. Love and light. lion's mane. zion orion. goddess IO Today  was nadine's birthday.5th to 10th grade. crooked creek, spinning wheel rugs, poverty tourism, camel riders snake charmers, bridge, gate. girls just wanna have fun the middle of fifth. after 6th we went to different middle schools.sam and  amanda indian cave,  allison road, pinecrest, sam story and john mccoy
tall trees. neil then in the middle of high school i moved to ca.then i blew it. it's great regina and i got together a few years back i called her a few months ago.
we got louise back but may end up letting her go.
marc tried to hand me the bowl and i dropped it. everyone fucks up and cleans it up and keeps moving. what am i grasping for and how can i hold on when i want to disappear? as i was leaving to walk to the store jeff drove by.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

the beast tamed

 today we partied with jukebox, his family, john and his. you make your own vision and rhythm and just go looking for those who sing your tune. perhaps i was once the angry black woman who was denied her child. she comes out less now. i had a habit in the past which i am glad to have the experience and hindsight to notice and observe. being a butterfly helps me to celebrate changes. when i want to be alone so i don't have to deal with what i find unpleasant, I am showing an inability  to cope and solve my own problems. things will always come up. moods change. no one could understand me and no one should have to.  i know what running is like. i know what starting over is like. if i don't feel like the ground is shaky then i won't have to fly away. like bill donahue said it is the nature of the beast. to watch it an name it is great. yes life is suffering but do we attach to it or do we transmute it?

Friday, August 2, 2013


Jumah Mubarak! Jenn came back.Power is in the word. and might is in the deed. There are worlds I came here to co create.use cash said start with capricorn.the trick is don't let anyone get your goat. i guess i have to let go and let it go.  I remember listening more to within., not the troll under the bridge.and how much better it was.   Mona said to read what I write to figure out the real message use the right tools. ideas acted upon.hermes mercury direct.
pacamama my mom asked for her books on chakras so its time to review them and activate. now is lughnasa, harvest, leo, maben, days shorten. ask for what you deserve and believe it is coming. black mountain yoga is opening a new studio. cinnamon teaches a class there. willow opened one also. nadia called from indonesia and i talked to Papa for a minute. don't reinvent the wheel. don't burn out on expectations. have a dream that is built to last. the foolish hope of a moonchild. blackmoon lilith from tiamat. created the hidden world to be known

Thursday, July 25, 2013


star gazer star chaser
 the sky's ocean opens wide at night.
what you see is shaped by the eye
the 3 veils hide one light.
 the mother being steadfast is seeing solidity n
interlaced and interfaced with change.
ebb and flow and spinning in a dance
the stillness comes from within the cave.
let go and touch all points.
 through firepower the king rules the shore.prana
and through the waters flow the shore rules the king. shakti.
a day out of time between signs,
stop spinning, worlds combine.
what treasures have washed up? what secrets buried?
being still and quiet and calm is required.
it is the only way for the truth to show itself to you.
Your life is made of only what you think feel and share.
A lioness guards the gate, few may enter

Sunday, July 21, 2013


Leo/Aquarius is coming.Shine my light on my crystal path and we'll all meet. be still and love myself. i need courage and bravery to protect my beautiful home and family. which is my inner and outer worlds making new ones. i need an open heart to make a difference. which can not protect itself and others at the same time. mama lion.
Yesterday marc got me cheesecake and we watched seven. Traveling Treasures we are.. it's the infinite loop.look and see and know and remember everything around as a song poem play.i am the rain maker and climb the rainbow. see the darkness and use alchemy to make light. find other lights to interconnect. it is all from the unseen. my mom called. we said we must meet on a sunday. and marcia called. the birthday blessings were like the flowers on our tomato plants

 this morning i woke up from a dream with marcia. in the waking world a bracelet she gave me broke.  we went to mona's.louise stalled at first and it started to rain for a minute.  jamie and vivian gave me some garnet. in 7 more days nadia goes to Indonesia.

Monday, July 15, 2013

mars falls in cancer

last night marc was throwing up and shitting. we tried to go to the doctor but the car didn't start. rosemary towed louise to the repair shop, and tomorow john is giving marc a ride til hopefully thursday when marc gets paid.
i only heard a little bit of outside the box, they were talking about how the numbers are like a sign to stay on that track. it made me feel more empowered to seek my own white rabbit. then malika posted something about a march for trayvon, and i told her i thought staying home with your families is better, she brought up white priveledge and i deleted her. sometimes you sit with anger and transmute it, sometimees you remove it. choice is power, stay plugged into your own.
the outlook i want and insight i seek in life is to see its temporary beauty and add to it and pass it on. taking it so seriously and not laughing or singing and not making my own song is no way to live. i can look outside at things that matter that i want to change, and will never be content. we watched manchurian candidate and he fell asleep.

Saturday, July 6, 2013


after Marduk fell
we walked the battleground of earth
mans body mind and soul
armor of which he can master
i am not just here to survive.
through attention and focus
patience and steadfastness
 that is surface life.orbit steer the ship. i won't just absorb whatever comes my way without transmuting it. my voice speaks loud. i started writing and creating and expressing as a loner with a small group of friends when i went to highschool. full circle. like a shooting star it was my mom's highschool memories that took us a different way
the way that the freemasons of kemet went to hollywood.will not fade away. sijjils, scripts, spells so did i
character script roleplay words of thoughts and ideas expressed across  seas. only now i have to apply the knowledge i gained from experience only i can take that step with my own two feet
away from home and family, many branches one tree

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

rain maker

know your magic. we're in cancer. hidden forces. moonroom. fathoms, chatrter, captain, compass, crew, grand water trine, what is home and family to me? going moving along start to finish to sustain after we're gone. intention to create a space to allow magic. an open heart that i made shine by cocreating in love without expectations. for that moment. conscious creative change is life fueled by the netherworld. unseen causes, intuitive trust in the good

. nadia went with her dad for the summer today. mercury retrograde communication hack, slow down don't start anything new, be open to questions, say yes before no., review brings new info
jupiter in cancer expression in the home
black moon lilith anger. it sucks hearing him talk through her, now it is all about listening and allowing and showing, grand water trine release resolve relinquish.

marc took the day off to do errands.  i was in such a grumpy mood and marc was not having it.  a snickers bar helped.   i will have to learn where i can hold fast to my truth while still being open and connected.afterwards we hung outwith danile and christine ate nachos  watched movies played gu  itar. planned a double birthday party. . i could tell marc was getting a bug and then it kept me up alll night so i woke up early in hopes to catch a nap later. a nice rain came. the illness and the rain have both stuck around.

Friday, June 21, 2013

summer solstice

each person here is a star in a role
as their own master
another reflection of the whole.
we are no longer able to hide
the teacher is your shadow exposed
there will be no conquer or divide
take an inner stand,
gaurd your gates
intentions are not to be cast aside so easily
 thoughts feelings words hands gaze create
halfway between hurry up and wait
move and shake and vibrate
the longest day like 3
luna full yet gone
the most  light  growth heat
play with space time and distance like neo
perspective of good or bad is arbitrary
planting starseeds and waiting patiently
entering cancer full moon coming soon
it's all in the relating
miracles are never planned
enjoy it while you can

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

dream quest

jade DMT dreamtime cycle.becoming an exploding star fire, 5 points. pentacost, physical snake oil from church.outside. hidden red passion fear anger fire burns bright blinding. red moon guards the root.cave body earth birth create a universe seasons change neural pathway mind between heaven and earth moon synthetic suggestions
soul sole plasma sun green heart earth fourth chakra fire wings
blue sky throat chakra creative speech, or silence

Khaleesah: ikhlass, mother of the book. pure true sincere authentic. clear is the absense of color. the dream: I saw a neighbor with a dog. He was a little boy and the dog was misbehaving. It wouldn't listen. I said over and over, "I don't have a dog. I don't have a dog."
I talked to Laurie and Mona about it. Dog meant spirituality, God. a super moon is coming. Mona sent me something about Jupiter. some guys came to cut the tree down and said they hang out with moonies in rosman.. 
Mercury close to sun sign, Cancer.fertility photosynthesis a new innnerstanding of home and family.i keep seeing orbs. saw a wild turkey, answered prayers.
 retrograde, review renew redo, malik, Molech, milk, ideas. Martin Luther King, Cult of Personality.   Not listening or joining anything outside, the kingdom of heaven is within

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

butterfly moments

the tree of life just happens as we cocreate. it all starts with the thought seed. it was hidden for a long time. no one can see the inspiration but they see the efffects. everything we thought we knew is out the door., gate, travel. it is all for growth. our wings unfolding, dna activating. we are not in control but affect things. we are watching it unfold, a process so beyond us we observe up close,
caterpillar eats til its overloaded. so should i. to coccoon to butterfly. never ending life. the thunderbird is up and running. named louise. marc said he wants to look at the mountains while i drive. 7 sisters. mona gave us some myrhh and some astrology notes.
 we are in the web and net. we touch one part and all connected are affected.. we look within and see without and vice versa.attractio n and repulsion is  our decision.parasite cleanse.i know that fear is a lie. i know that looking away is futile. i know that we never die but must be pushed to excel. i know that thoughts and feelings can lie and always change/ it was a trip meeting jukebox and squirrel. sunday jams may go on and may rotate.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

vines climb

nurture the womb. everywhere yuo are present is home. temporary temple. we chase the sun as its spiraling. all life is family. we have planted seeds not knowing which will yield later.leave trails without a care who follows. We can not claim that what we expect is the best that could be.
Mark Lola and Barbara came to see Dr Vines and Rob. 16 years had passed since i saw them. Melissa is married. Both Vines girls are joining the navy. We went to Bulling Creek and grilled. It rained off and on.they made me grateful for my path.
On the way home Our car broke down on the bridge across from home and some locals gave us a ride. Marc stayed with Jon and Brandy for 3 days so he had a ride to work then we rented a car. marc told me brandy has cancer. We should have a car tomorrow if it passes inspection. Daniel came over.

Monday, May 27, 2013


It wasn't because they should get the day off, it was due to slow business, before 4 day workweeks and car troubles.. We had a long weekend and took a trip to the lake, it was higher than usual.Matt was about to get serious with a woman. nadia had fun with some other girls. I had no idea sylvia's daughter was getting married and her dad was there being a jerk.i had a good talk with sylvia. dfferent things matter to different people, and boy when you take responsibility do things change. what are you doing and why? for whom? with whom?
what seeds are you planting and what fruit will you harvest? we are all connected. parts of each other. marc found mike and elaine. we were with our ancestors and we are them. we are deigned for perpetual existence. the ka and the ba. the ankh folds back in on itself perpetually. egypt kemet is the underworld afterlife

Friday, May 24, 2013

full moon lunar eclipse gem/sag

gems full of suggestions and sag won't listen to suggestions, shadows exposed. anything buried comes back up.the cycle goes on. so don't get stuck to one. putting responsibility on self and divine, not appearances in the world game. sincerity is clarity amd relaxxation. put yourself out there.tie up loose ends to conserve chi, close all exits. making a new world now. what do you value, don't be too serious. i don't have to be heard (herd) or understood. i can have a storm and share the rainbow bridge. whatever the situation time place people i make the perfumed wings in me spread out and share it.
harvest, culling, pulling, judgement. ,internal compass required to measure values .what do you live and die for, what do you make with what you have? what do you give and keep? it's so much bigger than you, and you have so much work to do and potential to do it, if you can escape distractions.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

where is horus?

false light blinds you from outside. you are  the sun and its orbiting planets. pranayama and asana is God realization and cocreation. . the kula graduated. degrees, of a circle, burns, masonic orders,temperature, intensity.
 i can at least commit 10 min. to ritual. using what i know to serve others. we met jeremy's mom and chris at the fund raiser for omari. chiron in taurus 8th house wounded healer the bull womb charges nonstop.to create stability and beauty so be patient.humane.  thursday the cave, missing girls found.
 nunnehei nature spirits. bee haven, campsites. breakfast and lunch served..

left and right bridge. wheels wings rings sings trivium and quadrivium information knowledge wisdom. chase fire east to west writing for eagles nest and nunnehi homestead. wind fox herbals village herbals jude's greeting cards UU in Brevard and elijah mountain.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

don't "take it" personally

yesterday marcia and granny took us to wendy's and granny said why be picky about organic when so many have no food? parasites.then the library. but the picture they wanted to see wasn't there .today nadia missed the art class. marcia got an oragami kit for her and she took us to fresh. we wanted to eat different things she seemed upset about me looking at choices.. marc took half a night off.

 it's not all about you. or your battle or struggle or weakness or desire.this drama is one part of who we are. a flutter by.emotions can be put aside like the tide.  home and family and tribe, 3 bears luna, galaxy ocean, womb, milk, beehive collective honey flowershop village herbals windfox heal forests trees rainbows

Monday, April 22, 2013

life is not a critical condition

life death and epigenetics we control our dna. experience has value because it has a beginning middle and end, a process of change and growth through duality,  due to the realization that one of the most important events happened before I could understand, I am on alert. i don't want to be triggered anymore by the appearance of things not working out. so what if the past did not work out as planned and led me down a new path? it is always for love and truth and forever. not the time or place we attach to. we don't know but we trust. we fall and get smarter.

Saturday, April 20, 2013


we're all on stage, taking off the mask. we're all our own audience as we spiral in and see ourselves within and without. life is a party full of infinite potential and dreams to manifest. i saw what didn't work and left it behind, and needlessly feel trapped in darkness when light is in me and all around for the taking to refuel.it is in the attention to the detail of the moment you create.  how making the switch and never looking back, into the faith and hope and beauty of magic making. how little of what i am is anything other than responding to a stimuli? there is no need to question it because that answer comes from outside.

 we got to mona's, hung out, packed up and headed out. the house and hosts and food and vibe was awesome, wild. rosemary loves dancing. another lady releases doves and brought one. another lady painted and helped nadia. they plugged in a few guitars and mic and would again any time, marc loved jamming out and nadia painted.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


you don't look for what you already know. you think and you believe and you question and doubt.good and bad are perspectives. light and dark mean changing experiences.  it is humbling to see yourself as a lump of cells and wonder of the stages of growth.  the wind in the flute. only i can give myself the most special attention and tender care. i have a powerful unique role in building a new world. i believe i can create something better.

Monday, April 8, 2013

the astral quest

genesis generate replace replicate replinish refresh ad infinitum. get up and salute the sun, right where you are, spiral in up and out. you are your own self master when you are timeless in time. earth school garden. the ether is like fertile soil. over the course of the  ages we become the  gems and metals we collect. i am a collecter. but can not hold an           experience/hologram. i am the light cotaining the hologram. not where but when. how ancient is the salt, ash, coal. diamond, crystal, first eye?

Sunday, April 7, 2013


it's easy to imagine but harder to do.too few do anything let alone enough. hurry up and wait. the noble savage told us the joy of not knowing and unconditional openness and acceptance that this moment has the lesson or liberation you need. not only if. your only if is definitely less than what awaits. the adventure is on the horizon waiting for your gaze. you need your body, the earth, and connection to all souls, that's it. . you alone have the magic ingredient

Wednesday, April 3, 2013


i am still magnetic white light.with inner wisdom in this space i create i am here to see inside my universe to build a healing  tribe for my children's children. in community we surrender serve allow validate trust and hope and gratitude and detachment. i observe witness declare  testify crucify sacrifice my shell playing a role.here and there, then and now, i created all this around me. truly knowing myself and not escaping or hiding or being afraid, just make life into art and beauty, is only the vibration right now through singing like overloaded, with careful attention to meaning make all things new, the milk and honey way in spiritual midwifery, at the farm, in my heart home, montessori waldorf steiner, writing clearly, reading between the lines, sharing circles drum heart ocean thunder cooking ayurveda soup kitchen, cleaning yoga sleeping gardening. connect near and far. left and right brain. i see men inside huge robots moving them as how we really are.

Friday, March 29, 2013

open doors

enter and exit safe, the only dance there is on  planet emily i rule. allowance, permission, i can draw a line but i don't need to. marcia she is packing up and selliing her house. she made a pagan basket and took nadia to the movies, then nadia came with us to open mic, it was packed.  i was inspired to practice something like a poem or song but there is so much noise. that right there sounds like a song. who am i originally before responding? where is my bubble ?  i have to fight for the dream to be brought to light,
then saturday was brett's party. always missing the most beautiful thing within by looking without.  easter sunday at mona's and next time i want her to record us at open mic.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

spring break egg hunt

fear is silly. observe with love. we leave the body but never die. beginning middle and end until you break your own chains. the world changes with a  clean house and clean mind. we had nadia with us at mona's. nadia borrowed a book.

mama turtle comes out of the ocean to lay eggs, leaving them on their own. by questioning all, it is only i that can find the pearl the kernel the first cause the intention the yearning drive passion urge clinging spiral. bring a higher hidden meaning to each passing moment/ its infinite loop is a current that moves through me. we met jeremiah's mom and she is really cool. there are so many choices and universes to focus in on. i am making space for my own magic while dancing along in the circle too
then came  pattys day. we went to john and brandy's and they were hung over from an acid trip. marc grilled chicken and hot dogs and nadia watched ghostbusters 2. then we hauled ass out of there. unconditional love and gratitude for all!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

tree of life

ishtar easter spring.those closest to me are there to love.  thoughts in bubbles for manifesting good. butterflies and bees. the thought of being alone created Love. points and lines i spin and create a door or gate. clockwise sacred spiral outward and inward.  the trunk moves backwards and the roots are at the top. good roots give sweet fruits. mona showed us her tarot deck. i drew the blank mirror with all possibilities. they were all backwards. i am on the outside of every door. i open it without knowing, but intuition. i thought about being 16 and going on 32. wow. totally open and excited and scared but going out on a limb with the fear. ask how much i can influence and create and hold and attract beautiful things.it all depends on how you frame it.  it was a half day.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

book of the dead

how to build a home? choose your neighbors wisely.gaurd your gate. clothes and dishes then read write listen sing.with joy. mix and match, 6  senses 7 chakras   .imagine the fountain of youth, inner child. choose family first.to make space for others put your opinions aside about the world unless it builds a bridge.as my mom said she saw a rainbow when i was born. i connect to my inner light and see.. if you neglect this work your other endeavors will fail. there are teachers everywhere.  they will come to you when you give off the scent, thus themselves and unity.the circle, it's who you know. trees grow slowly from the ground up.. be present. be patient and let go.  trim memories and plant seeds. right in front of you. working in the now does not mean we need to see results now. your power and your story has no end.all that is buried blooms again. within the fertile garden of the heart shined on by the eyes' light.

the moon is safe for distant secrets and watching from afar.The hidden rose is found by scent or thorn. some dig through the topsoil. there is more to see and know but only by action not by thought and word. the longest i lived in one place was with Kamal in Gardena. I was strong in faith in Allah but not yet in myself. Before that was 2.5 years at Tall Trees.I wwas coming out of my shell because of the familiar enviornment.   2 years in black mountain When I left the mountains for the city I was a hippie goth, rebellious and distant from my mom. I still hadn't realized how beautiful and special I was. When I was still in High School I got back in touch with Grandma Decker, and grew distant from my best friend of 6 years Nadine. light is the illusion of no darkness. 

in is out and out is in. all about pisces moon. slow and steady lighten your load. my mom was at work today so couldn't come to rosemary's for their birthdays, that's more what i am used to. Rosemary gave nadia marc's old art box.we got water and marc made taters. then we hung out with mona. it's great to hear her talk about the unseen. i don't care if i am alone or not we're all one. stay rooted to stand. it  doesnt have to show. through the spiral you return to you. never die, you keep traveling. you are the act of creation, always new.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

follow the wind

Careful attention is a sign of love.it is not futile or casual in the least. Create something longlasting.Tangible results means narrowing things down and making space for the unseen. trust in the divine plan and follow the white rabbit. I got Joel's card from the drippalator. I can see putting a flier for traveling treasures there soon. He lives by the school,plays at open mics and teaches classes. I saw the drive and purpose he put into healing.i have come full circle and risen again in the east, when i gave everything for love i gained it all and more.

i am powerful and own it. i am awake and aware.  I am able to respond in a beautiful way. I am always transforming for the better. My gifts bring me and those around me joy. pranayama and asana are your container. its all flowing here now. i trust i will not be cut off from The Source. The fountain is in me, and I am a cup. joy and love is a choice made when challenged. what would my own red tent be? cover, comfort,  the open spacetime.. expand and contract.make it known. early to bed early to rise breakfast greens snacks decorations music walks. 3 sets of 8 hours.  whadya know my moon started and full moon leo.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

acceptance leads to ascension

i felt like poo when i got up but chose to feel better. open hearts love serve and remember. thoughts and feelings are illusions and senses are doorways to meet people on the bridge. the only thing i know is i am here having a human experience  for a reason and why not a good one?
john brandy and luna had us over.we got water there. their place is so different now that it's all theirs.lots of antiques and decorations and a new camper. nadia watched Alf for the first time. she read to Luna. brandy paid me and apologized for the delay.

The magnetic pull of the glowing moon calls the ocean waves on. tides drive the mercy ocean, the earth womb. though so far away it still touches us. we are visiting guests, to give birth again and again. the guide out of darkness if you surrender, 3 days a month. to create beauty accept embrace with joy..body mind soul. Remember the mountain girl in the city, open new curious now an awake mother at home. observe how the enviorment shapes you, bless it. make a bubble and float with the current..
 tie spirituality activism journalism info knowledge connections and change fear into love.  connecting and breaking apart is Allah in my life. It is a cycle and process unfolding I create.  let love flow from my fountain, there is enough to fill us all. thought matters not. each soul will be reached and touched. heal yourself,listen  the earth is fertile with life, and open for seeds to sprout. the butterfly heart has two wings, hope and fear, which light a fire in you to travel deeper within. The hidden becomes manifest and the roots nourish all.

Monday, February 11, 2013

butterfly soul

nonattachment not detachment.. work hard play hard make it beautiful make it yours. the female is the temple that gives shape and form to spirit. so take hold of that gift.agree to the quest. always opening to what's new next. we know it is temporary breif fragile and everything.the burning  love and light makes you feel like there's no where else to be  the young caterpillar fears the end, when the butterfly begins. . migration following subtle rhythm. pollination. blooms later
..my understanding and knowledge while growing is so flawed and incomplete. and i am reminded of this ofteen. for that i am grateful.it is so vastly greater than I.  submit surrender trust this Body mind soul 3, the storytelling ant on the persian rug. at times a flowing  robe or halo shows us becoming butterflies now.
awareness of the self and responsibility for creation can and will give you joy and sorrow.aware is what you wear, the mask that does magic.  heal self on this journey of sun and rain make the rainbow, shine in hidden places, balance is the mode of travel, learn, change, growth, exploration, creation. of past present and future, awake and asleep, with the self and self as other. look at the illusion and smile and laugh and sing to change it. turn lead into gold, the whole reason for the scales is equalizing.

Monday, February 4, 2013


noon to 2. 24 hours where is horus? infinity of choices. everything has an orbit of 3. travel the wheel and take yourself with you, as life goes around. you are fully there returning home to grow up from the spine.darkness is a womb, it appears as nothing but teaming with life. . over the weekend tala spent the night.. 4 years with marc we plan on iannucci's with uncle joe and lunch on the parkway. nadia is spending the night with my parents for the first time ever depending on what marcia needs.  i got medicaid back. mom and rob came over. mom bought a dress and wants more. she still sells greeting cards. we made a wrong turn and drove around ridgemont,  went to my fathers pizza and lake tomahawk.rob made boats to race with nadia we saw tons of different kinds of ducks and geese  and the moon during daylight. they said they'd like to come back, and try lake lure perhaps. of course i left my purse in their car. met mom and rob in fletcher and marc went out with the guys and open mic.