mars falls in cancer

last night marc was throwing up and shitting. we tried to go to the doctor but the car didn't start. rosemary towed louise to the repair shop, and tomorow john is giving marc a ride til hopefully thursday when marc gets paid.
i only heard a little bit of outside the box, they were talking about how the numbers are like a sign to stay on that track. it made me feel more empowered to seek my own white rabbit. then malika posted something about a march for trayvon, and i told her i thought staying home with your families is better, she brought up white priveledge and i deleted her. sometimes you sit with anger and transmute it, sometimees you remove it. choice is power, stay plugged into your own.
the outlook i want and insight i seek in life is to see its temporary beauty and add to it and pass it on. taking it so seriously and not laughing or singing and not making my own song is no way to live. i can look outside at things that matter that i want to change, and will never be content. we watched manchurian candidate and he fell asleep.