Tuesday, December 30, 2014


the lost and found butterfly
only strangers knew
the rainbow inside
from the shadow of her cocoon
somewhere in the middle of another storm
somehow always makes it through
on a great Ark of the Heart
mantra for collective consciousness

my chart
my twirl
indigo crystal aquarian libertarian
tribe of many colors
sufi hippie mountain girl
my beauty is my art
blend old and new
 vision for a new year
discovered clue by clue

Sunday, December 21, 2014

winter solstice new cap moon

sunday night/Monday morning
kamal is back from indonesia
mulabanda squeeze,
a sacrament
digest, consume ideas
 gut is the second brain
9 fruits/vegs a day
ground up
remember the good advice I got to hear
the voice of authority
I am worthy of listening
and being heard
take my meds
get my hours done,
 eat well,
 bed time,
bath time.
peaceful parenting

and got to give
going into Aries moon

Saturday, December 6, 2014

self routine

all experience unfolding
 is self realized
then actualized
you have all you need
to do what you came here to do
 always keep tadasana
and mantra
and observe your breath

the steps we take
or refuse
cross many life cycles
cocoon seed
in bloom
route spiral twirl

Friday, December 5, 2014

gemini full moon in saggitarius

2 weeks of intense self care
grand fire trine
communication in silence or with words
nadia spent the night at tall trees
hung out with the neighbors
out to lunch with the folks
ran into Debbie at the store
then stayed up all night and slept all day
next Saturday nadia flies from Atlanta to LA

Friday, November 7, 2014

taurus full moon

fascinating womanhood
love starts with self
Mission I am here to empower others
to their inherent healing capacity
notice whether they are open and act accordingly

Monday, November 3, 2014

homework from a new friend

learn from all of them
care taker/middle/brat/Sugar Daddy
power exghange negotiation
ceremony of roses

I want to work on
hobbies and interests
writing a journal
self love
self care

Dom help with

hard/soft limits

Sunday, October 5, 2014

mercury retrograde

can't sleep, but caught up later
how can I lucid dream?
must make routine and a support system
rotary zodiac, journal
thoth hermes Buddha

 marc spent the night going grocery shopping then marc works overtime
Monday nadia goes back to school then checked out for braces.
work on my favorite things and enjoy being little.

slow down and reflect more on the task closest to home, absorb less.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

life is a prayer

I have been in my new apartment for a little over a month.
four months have gone by
 It still feels like a big mistake and like I ruined something really good. Marc and I are sort of dating and plan on working things out.
after a few months of dating I said I just wanted a best friend
 Nadia and I are not getting along well and I don't know how to fix it. She is back on a year round schedule and about to go back to class next week.
she is with her dad now on another break
Despite my lack of sleep last night I recalled two dreams. In one dream I climaxed but wanted to keep going, and in another dream I was doing group prayer. I woke up with the thought to turn life into a prayer.

Friday, July 18, 2014

solar return midway point

6 mths ago I turned 33. at that point nadia was in CA.
She just turned 11.
I have neglected my blog long enough. in 2 days I will be 33. Last month Nadia went to Cali to visit her dad, and I had a breakdown of sorts and went to stay at Tall Trees, hoping to come back to a happier home and marriage. Now it seems like moving forward into the new and unknown is the path I must make. Both Marc and Nadia are mad at me but I must put myself first and do what's best for me and not be swayed forever by others' opinions. I have less than a month to get things rolling and stop doubting myself and blaming the past. Only I know what I want and need and have to depend on myself more, something I have always struggled with.

Monday, April 28, 2014

new moon solar eclipse in taurus

worked hard to make it a good day and succeeded. leslie hung out and I made big plans for Friday, cherokee day

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

trust comes before obedience

look out for sub frenzy
and predators
wait and see
etched deeply into me
your very core
every word you have made flesh
forever pure

Monday, January 20, 2014


closer than your dreams, softer than a whisper. trust the sleep, home heart cave it's all safe to be. jedi pillar, canopis follows  sirius,my mind can build it all and sustain it and destroy it, many times over. overloaded, safely arrived,over the rainbow, body always leaves behind stardust ash. the end is coming but not what it seeems. any time soon. the end of illusion and confusion from searching outside far and wide, as always back home again.