to turn and return

the infinite instant, the dance of past present and future. we are clay fire water wind and soul. Ancient nutrients of earth wisdom  behind propels me onward. every time i cry it is like a hug from Dad. open arms now to serve the other you on the street, or your home. Thinking and feeling is the opposite of creating. words must rise off the page. I came to be a rainbow warrior. Remember colors. Be beauty.. east west circle hoop womb. only make it better, it is time to reverse.. nothing is wrong.  The inner is the infinite, and must be contained to be realized. unique original and rare. I broke a cup and broke down. Marc helped me.Everything breaks, be the cup. Let doubt, fear, and anger spill away. Let go of all but love.I talked to Nadia about making our house better with more love. she will be 9 soon. within myself and this moment i want to know mind body and soul. there the certainty is. in her, for me.
 I feel closer to Allah without Islam directly, just us alone. I have to cultivate a connection to the Prophet, somehow. I feel more sufi without islam. i also figured out big time feelings and emotions and thoughts lie to us. everything we see points to Allah, we are moving changing growing creating the moment now. Creation is bound to let you down to  turn you to Allah.it will perish as I have learned. that is the best change, to learn.