phoenix

 I am going to be happy and feel good and put that first. If you can't meet me I won't go.Questions demanding answers have no space. I can not bend and break to fit. My darkest days have come, and I hope I can put myself together with Marc, without medication but it may come to that. Seeds sprout in the dark. Stars shine in the dark. Dark is calm and quiet, in the cave. The spiral is upwards. Number 9. Nadia's birthday party at Granny's had ernie, dianne, nina, mom, rob, granny, me and marc. she got a cool clock and a cute horse and we had cake and ice cream. Monday Marc called in and we drove down Brickyard to Tall Trees. Granny Nina and Ernie were there, we ate and got water.

I wanted to get out of Cali, so I can make the most out of being home again. But I have not made this my home yet.  I have been with Marc for 4 years, married half a year. Moving isn't always the answer, but I liked Hendersonville better and finally it is on the table. Lenon said his children orbit around him. I have never felt rooted or at home and just came into my body. it is going to be a one day at a time thing, to get body mind soul food shelter clothing family friends in order.