Saturday, September 25, 2010

autumn winds

This has been an enlightening year. I have found many truths in myself and in the universe. My bond with my daughter and my twin flame has grown. The pull of the darkness is much stronger now that I know what beauty the light manifests. It is a conscious choice to hold on, to stare that shaitan right in the face. Those doubts, those fears, those excuses, are all illusions I've grown tired of hiding behind. Whenever I gather up courage and step out onto a thin branch, the slightest breeze sends me back in fear. What is there to fear? I am already in chains. Those that can't be seen, within my very heart, they are the catalyst to push me forward.
That fighter I am, that I've forgotten, I will find again. Almost 30 years. Another trick is to make me criticize and doubt myself and put myself down, so that I do not know what I'm capable of. and since I am afraid to approach the horizon it remains a distant sight, or a thought, or word, not a manifest reality. Act it out. It is merely an archetype, a role. I am an observer. I kept viewing things from one perspective like a tunnel vision and starting from the same point so how far should I expect to progress? The truth is in Be Here Now. The truth is in Allah's Arms.

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