homework from a new friend

dynamic
learn from all of them
DD/lg
care taker/middle/brat/Sugar Daddy
power exghange negotiation
contract
ceremony of roses

I want to work on
hobbies and interests
writing a journal
self love
self care

Dom help with
training
body
mind
soul

hard/soft limits
location
children

mercury retrograde

can't sleep, but caught up later
how can I lucid dream?
must make routine and a support system
rotary zodiac, journal
thoth hermes Buddha

 marc spent the night going grocery shopping then marc works overtime
Monday nadia goes back to school then checked out for braces.
work on my favorite things and enjoy being little.

slow down and reflect more on the task closest to home, absorb less.

life is a prayer

I have been in my new apartment for a little over a month.
four months have gone by
 It still feels like a big mistake and like I ruined something really good. Marc and I are sort of dating and plan on working things out.
after a few months of dating I said I just wanted a best friend
 Nadia and I are not getting along well and I don't know how to fix it. She is back on a year round schedule and about to go back to class next week.
she is with her dad now on another break
Despite my lack of sleep last night I recalled two dreams. In one dream I climaxed but wanted to keep going, and in another dream I was doing group prayer. I woke up with the thought to turn life into a prayer.

solar return midway point

6 mths ago I turned 33. at that point nadia was in CA.
She just turned 11.
I have neglected my blog long enough. in 2 days I will be 33. Last month Nadia went to Cali to visit her dad, and I had a breakdown of sorts and went to stay at Tall Trees, hoping to come back to a happier home and marriage. Now it seems like moving forward into the new and unknown is the path I must make. Both Marc and Nadia are mad at me but I must put myself first and do what's best for me and not be swayed forever by others' opinions. I have less than a month to get things rolling and stop doubting myself and blaming the past. Only I know what I want and need and have to depend on myself more, something I have always struggled with.

new moon solar eclipse in taurus

worked hard to make it a good day and succeeded. leslie hung out and I made big plans for Friday, cherokee day

trust comes before obedience

look out for sub frenzy
and predators
wait and see
etched deeply into me
your very core
every word you have made flesh
forever pure

changeling

closer than your dreams, softer than a whisper. trust the sleep, home heart cave it's all safe to be. jedi pillar, canopis follows  sirius,my mind can build it all and sustain it and destroy it, many times over. overloaded, safely arrived,over the rainbow, body always leaves behind stardust ash. the end is coming but not what it seeems. any time soon. the end of illusion and confusion from searching outside far and wide, as always back home again.